Author: mraloo

The Cursed Child

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This weekend marked the release of the eighth Harry Potter book (technically the script for a HP play), Harry Potter and the Cursed Child.  By this time you probably know what HP is – I’m so excited for you to read the books and I truly hope that we read them together (that goes for all my kids – there’s never a limit to how often I can re-read these books).  It’s a world of magic and excitement that reconnects me to my inner child (who, let’s face it, is never too far away).

The first HP book was published in 1997, when I was still in high school.  While I did not discover the books until Book 4’s publishing, in 2000, it’s crazy to think that 19 years have passed since the introduction of the first book and the introduction of the latest one.  I remember each of the book releases from #4 onwards.  In 2000, I was a college student trying to find my way; in 2003 I was a student who had found my way – soon to enter the professional world; in 2005, I was a young professional living with your grandparents while learning the ways of the world; in 2007, I was questioning my career path, looking for my future, and living in the city; finally, in 2016, I am a husband and a father, established in my job, and about the same age as Harry in this latest book.

It must be amazing to be someone like JK Rowling, the creator of HP.  To be able to touch so many people with your words must be an amazing feeling.  I love and have loved the escape I feel when I step into the wizarding world and follow Harry through his highs and lows.  I felt a connection with the books, to the point that I think I was even depressed when I finished book 7 and realized it was the end of my journey with Harry.  While I’ll never write words that impact so many, I hope my words here impact you all (positively, of course).  I write them with you in mind and, as I said in my first post, with the hope that you’ll know me as a person as much as you know me as a father.

I am only a few pages into this latest book but it is clear that much of it focuses on the relationship between a father and son.  This hits me on a deep level, in a way it would not have 15 months ago.  Within merely a few pages, I find myself relating to Harry’s predicament and his desire to connect with his son; Sahaan has broken down so many walls within me (more on this in a post I hope to write later) and has secured a place in my heart that I didn’t even know existed.  I care so much about your well-being (all of you), to the point that it takes priority over my own; your mother also feels the same way.  So, let me say this now, because then it’s out there for you to read and remember.  And know it will always be true, no matter what challenges we face.  I am here for you.  I am here FOR YOU.  Let me in when you need help and when you need advice; put aside our differences or the fact that you feel I don’t “get it”.  As I have learned, parents usually do get it – they’ve usually been through it and they know how to handle it, whatever “it” may be.  Leverage my experience, my love for you, and my desire to see you succeed and find your place in this world.  Even when I disagree with you, I do so with your best interests at heart.  I will ALWAYS have your back, even when having your back means letting you fight your own battles.

Amazing the impact Harry Potter has on me (and, undoubtedly, others around the world).  Barely 10 pages of script, and I have an outpouring of emotion for my kids – so much so that I wrote a post like this one.

Pure Empathy

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So we learned a new trick with Sahaan recently – apparently when you cry (or pretend to cry), he is so empathic that he begins to cry as well.  Don’t believe me?  Well I have video proof :). So sorry Sahaan for your #MeanDad.

Guess who’s back?

Aside ~ ~ mraloo ~ Leave a comment

Luckily by the time Sahaan learns how to read, he won’t be disappointed about the months-long gap between posts here.  I, however, think about this blog often and wish I could post more.  Unfortunately, life’s responsibilities get in the way and it can become difficult to do the things I want to do when I need to focus on the things I have to do.

So I’m currently on my way back from Boston, after over 2 months out here.  You might not know this but my job can require a lot of travel.  I’ve been working 14-16 hour days (which is a lot per day) and even working on the weekends.  Meanwhile, we are waiting on our new home to close (yes, the one I posted about some time back) so that we can move.  Finally, your Milap Kaka (“Kaka” is Gujarati for “father’s brother”) is getting married to Neha Kaki (“Kaki” is Gujarati for “father’s brother’s wife”) in just over 2 weeks.  So much going on!

It’s been hard not seeing Sahaan more often these past couple months.  He grows so fast that each week I feel like there’s something new about him.  About a month ago, Sahaan started becoming more reactive to our actions.  He’s become such a smiley baby that it’s hard to feel anything but love and joy when he busts out one of his smiles (which is always accompanied by his tongue sticking out).  Then, about 2 weeks ago, he started to babble a lot.  Now, he goes into these few-minute surges of babbling during which he makes all kinds of random sounds.  Your mom and I love to pretend we’re having a conversation with him and laugh every time his sounds or gestures correspond well to our statements.

I’m really excited to finally have a chance to spend more time at home.  I will probably refuse any travel work that requires more than a couple days of time (unless it’s international – that’s REALLY hard to refuse 🙂 ).  Also, once the house closes, I’ll take some days off to pack and coordinate the move.  By the end of this year, I’m hoping that life will settle down and allow our family to find some balance.

I’m on the train so I can’t post pics now but keep an eye out – I owe you all photos of smiley-Sahaan and updates on the house!

Little Man Bottle Feeds!

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I’m really getting behind on posts here – there is so much to say but also so much to do that it’s really difficult to keep things updated on a regular basis here.  As usual, I’ll be backdating posts to try to keep them accurate with the little man’s progress.

Today we tried bottle feeding for the first time and he took it well!  It was a small amount – only 5cc – but it worked!  Luckily he loves his binky so perhaps the bottle isn’t much different (except for the fact that he gets yummy food from it).

Your wonderful mom let me take the first shot at it – she’s pretty awesome at sharing the experience with me.

Check out the little man doing his thing:

 

Your First Shower

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There will be moments in your life when you are reminded of how lucky you are and how you must have made some good decisions – no matter the uncertainties you feel.  Today was one of those moments for our family-in-construction; today was your mother’s baby shower.

Baby showers are not the most exciting of parties and this one was hardly the first for most of our friends and family.  By now most of us have been through the wedding circuit and plenty of baby showers (just think of how many family friends and relatives are older than you).  Still, about 80 people made it out to celebrate Faloo’s impending arrival with us. It’s pretty humbling to realize that this many people felt it worth the time to be with us as we celebrated this new chapter of our lives and the start of our family.

I think about your future and the days when you will be in my shoes and I pray you have the support of people like those in my life.  Your mom and I have been really lucky.  We’ve been raised in the right families and made enough of the right decisions in our lives to wind up in a family and circle of friends that really care about each other.  I only hope that you’ll be able to say the same about your upbringing and your family and friends someday.

Home Sweet Home

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It’s been a while since I’ve added a post – I’m sorry about that.  Things have been quite busy lately and I haven’t had much time to do anything other than “work work” and “home work”.  The job has been particularly demanding – to the point that I’ve actually started to wonder if it’s time for a change.  Still, that’s not the point of this post so we’ll come back to that later (if I feel the desire to write about it some more).

Outside of work we have been quite busy!  Next week is your mom’s baby shower, which you’ll read more about in a future post.  We, especially your mom, have been busy planning for it and preparing the decorations, favors, and other items.  However it’s this other item we’ve been working on that is most exciting for me to share (well I guess technically we’re “working on” Faloo but that doesn’t count here).  I am excited to tell you that we believe we have found your first (or second) home!

Thus far, your mom and I have lived in various apartments as we’ve formulated our long term career plans.  We weren’t sure that we would stay in our current town (honestly, I’d prefer other areas around NYC) but recently decided to commit for 5 years.  In fact, we were just about to start looking for a place when we learned that your mom was pregnant with Faloo.  This sped up our house hunt and, after a lot of searching and research, we came across a home we loved.  The nice thing about it is that it’s new construction so we’ve had the ability to customize a lot of items around the house.  A lot of this is with Faloo in mind and making it as comfortable as possible for him (and any future kids) to enjoy.

I’m really excited to watch you grow up in this house. It’s a 3-story townhouse so, if you’re anything like your old man, you’re going to love running up and down the stairs.  Meanwhile, I’m going to seriously stress about it since the place has hardwood floors and I don’t want you to fall.  <sigh> All the stupid and bold things I did as a kid are about to catch up to me in the form of a son.  I know you can’t read yet (hell, you’re not even out of the womb yet) but do me a favor and try not to break anything, dirty the walls, knock over the trash, play with the toilet, climb on furniture, etc.  It would really make life easier for your mom and me 😁

Unfortunately this house won’t be ready until after you’re born so you’re going to have to live with us in our current apartment initially. Hopefully the house will be done on time and, within a couple months of your birth, we’ll all be chillin in the new place and enjoying the comforts of a brand-new home!

Check out the front of the property (still in construction):

  

Why?

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I left off on my last entry with the question of why – why did your mother and I choose to have you?  We could live comfortable and enjoyable lives without you.  Let’s be honest, it would be easier, we’ll need less money, we could do whatever we’d like to do (aside from having kids).  We chose to expand our family to include you in it and take on the responsibilities of raising a human being.

I’m not really sure there’s a very deep and philosophical reason for this.  The truth is, quite frankly, we want kids and we want a family.  I don’t know that I can pinpoint one reason in particular or even name them all if I seriously tried.  I will try to list a few though – let’s see how it goes.

  1. My life would feel incomplete without my family.  I know that sounds crazy but it’s true.  Maybe it’s the impact of the society I’ve grown up in or simply a natural instinct but I can’t imagine living a life without kids around.  Raising you, teaching you to be a good person, hopefully imparting in you the ability to make good, proper choices is important to me.  The experience of life is truly precious and you should always remember that it is an honor to partake in it.  Similarly, it is an honor for me to be granted the chance to give this opportunity to you.  I look forward to watching you grow.
  2. You’ll make me a better person.  You’re going to see me at my best and at my worst.  Someday you’ll see me as a flawed character and not the larger-than-life individual you once thought me to be.  Even so, by that point you’ll have made me a better person.  I think you will put certain aspects of my life into perspective and help me to let things go.  I think focusing on you will help me to understand what is important and what is ephemeral.
  3. I like kids.  Kids are cute, innocent, and pure-hearted.  They say/do things that are hysterical – even when they piss people off.  I’m looking forward to watching you do the same.
  4. I don’t think there is a purer form of love that exists than a parent’s love for his/her child.  I don’t know you yet but I already love you.  Honestly, it sounds crazy but it’s true.  It’s a great feeling – a surreal feeling.  And I’m so happy to have it in my life.

I could go on but, as I read back, I realize that I’m forcing myself to identify reasons.  The only reason I know is that I want to have you as my child.  You’re going to make the world a better place – you’re going to make MY world a better place.  I’m going to try my hardest to do the same for you as well.  And I’m just excited to have that opportunity with you.  I know this because, in trying to define the reasons I want you to exist, I find myself basking in the joy that you will someday exist.

  

Your Bad@$$ Momma

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I was just about to get into bed this evening when I took a moment to look over at your mother.  She was (and is) passed out in bed next to me and, quite honestly, she looks beautiful.

These days, with Faloo in her belly, sleep is a pretty valuable commodity for her.  She’s 22 weeks into the pregnancy and her belly is stretching and growing to accommodate for Faloo’s growth; this causes pain in her side and around the belly.  Because of the added weight (she’s obviously heavier than she’s ever been to this point in her life) and maybe some other causes, her feet swell up and her back hurts.  To put it mildly, she’s in constant discomfort these days.  In fact, when sleeping she can no longer lie on her stomach (as she prefers) but instead must lay on her side.  Unfortunately, this is still difficult for her due to the growing baby bump.  To ease some of this discomfort she now has something called a Snoogle to sleep with (hopefully that link still works 16 yrs from now; if not see photo below).  Her head goes on the top of the “C”, her belly rests on the side of the “C” (or in the gap and she uses a folded t-shirt to support it), and her legs straddle the bottom of the “C” – really it’s quite unusual until you realize that it’s somewhat effective.

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On top of those pains, Faloo is quite the active little one.  Clearly he takes after both his parents – neither of us would sit still as kids, we were constantly active.  All his moving around – pushing with his arms, kicking with his legs, and probably somersaulting his entire body – cause a lot of discomfort to her.

I don’t give her enough credit but it’s really amazing what she is putting herself through for you.  It’s hard, being uncomfortable for so many months, and yet it’s really one of the most selfless acts a person can do.  Sure, we want to have you all but few desires require a person to so readily put herself through such discomfort like a mother-to-be.  I get tired taking on extra chores but she goes to work, runs some errands, does some household chores, and grows a human being inside of her on any given day…it just doesn’t even compare.

I don’t really know when you all, our kids, will read this blog and truly appreciate what’s been written.  Perhaps, if you mature faster than I did, you’ll taken them to heart by the time you go to college.  If you’re like me, it might not be until you’re nearing (or in) your 30s that you truly begin to recognize the less obvious things your parents have done for you.  I feel this way about my parents; it’s amazing what they’ve done so selflessly for my brother and me (same goes for your mother’s parents with her and her sister).  When it comes to your mother, though, you should understand this:

From the beginning, your mother has made incredible sacrifices for you.  The level of discomfort, sacrifice and daily fatigue has been insane.  I am honestly in awe of her and what she’s doing and she has no idea how strong she is to have put herself through this.  Honestly, it makes me love her and appreciate her even more than I already do.  But what’s crazy to me is that this is only the beginning.  By the time you read this blog, another 10+ years will probably have passed…and that’s just for Faloo; it’ll have been even longer for our younger children.  Take a moment now and really think about this and allow yourself to truly appreciate her for what she has done during this time.  The next time you get upset with her or think she wants anything less than what’s best for you, think about the kind of pain and discomfort she put herself through just to bring you into existence and then raise you.  Then reconsider your opinions.  As I write this, I, myself, have come to realize that I need to appreciate her more for what she’s going through.  I plan to do this beginning right now; I hope you do too.

In the meantime, I can’t help but feel a question push its way to the front of my mind.  Why?  Why the pain, why the discomfort?  Ultimately, why kids – why do we want all of you?  It’s a good question and one that I think I’ll ponder over in my next entry.  As for you, go tell your mother you love her 🙂