Why?

I left off on my last entry with the question of why – why did your mother and I choose to have you?  We could live comfortable and enjoyable lives without you.  Let’s be honest, it would be easier, we’ll need less money, we could do whatever we’d like to do (aside from having kids).  We chose to expand our family to include you in it and take on the responsibilities of raising a human being.

I’m not really sure there’s a very deep and philosophical reason for this.  The truth is, quite frankly, we want kids and we want a family.  I don’t know that I can pinpoint one reason in particular or even name them all if I seriously tried.  I will try to list a few though – let’s see how it goes.

  1. My life would feel incomplete without my family.  I know that sounds crazy but it’s true.  Maybe it’s the impact of the society I’ve grown up in or simply a natural instinct but I can’t imagine living a life without kids around.  Raising you, teaching you to be a good person, hopefully imparting in you the ability to make good, proper choices is important to me.  The experience of life is truly precious and you should always remember that it is an honor to partake in it.  Similarly, it is an honor for me to be granted the chance to give this opportunity to you.  I look forward to watching you grow.
  2. You’ll make me a better person.  You’re going to see me at my best and at my worst.  Someday you’ll see me as a flawed character and not the larger-than-life individual you once thought me to be.  Even so, by that point you’ll have made me a better person.  I think you will put certain aspects of my life into perspective and help me to let things go.  I think focusing on you will help me to understand what is important and what is ephemeral.
  3. I like kids.  Kids are cute, innocent, and pure-hearted.  They say/do things that are hysterical – even when they piss people off.  I’m looking forward to watching you do the same.
  4. I don’t think there is a purer form of love that exists than a parent’s love for his/her child.  I don’t know you yet but I already love you.  Honestly, it sounds crazy but it’s true.  It’s a great feeling – a surreal feeling.  And I’m so happy to have it in my life.

I could go on but, as I read back, I realize that I’m forcing myself to identify reasons.  The only reason I know is that I want to have you as my child.  You’re going to make the world a better place – you’re going to make MY world a better place.  I’m going to try my hardest to do the same for you as well.  And I’m just excited to have that opportunity with you.  I know this because, in trying to define the reasons I want you to exist, I find myself basking in the joy that you will someday exist.

  

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